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According to HBRS (April3, 2019), 71 percent of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when evaluating candidates.

The Gate

There are tons of articles and studies about the emotional intelligence, and probably much more about the rational – if I may use this term – leadership.

I will not quote them but I’d like to share my own view on that. I captured the essence of it in a short movie THE GATE – please find the link at the end of this paragraph.

The gate, the entrance to a company, being it physical or virtual nowadays, is the place where I can see what are the company’s values, culture and emotions. You are leaving your home on the way to work. You are 100% you. The closer you get to the gate, to the entrance, the less of you is left.

This is the worst case: you believe you cannot bring in certain parts of you.

Maybe your humor? Maybe your playfulness? Maybe your honest feedback?

Let’s say that only 100% -x% pass the gate. The X could be somewhere between 1-99%. The way you are during a weekend is not the way you are between Monday and Friday.

Maybe the leadership in your company doesn’t allow for you being completely yourself. I am not suggesting that you do not control your emotions at all or that you shall not be conscious about the feelings of others. I am recommending that you shall listen to your inner ‘I’, and sense, if you feel yourself or if you struggle being incomplete at work.

Back testing

Sometimes you can find best advice for the future in the past.

Let me share a simple example of it, that saved me lots of time and a bit of money. When I worked for a large global company, almost 20 years ago, all men used to wear ties. Every morning I would put my shirt on. Then I would check different ties and see what is the best match regarding color or pattern. I guess, at that time I had about 20 ties.

One day I thought, wait a minute! Do I remember which tie my boss used yesterday? I didn’t!

Did I remember which ties my colleagues were using? I didn’t!

Bingo! Why would I care about the ties, then?!? Nobody remembered mine, neither!

I took all my ties but two, and donated them. I kept only a blue one and a red one. With those two colors I could match all the shirts I had.

When I told the story to my colleagues years later, nobody believed that I had only two ties for years.

I call it back testing.

Back to our topic: you know who were the best leaders in your life by thinking back and realizing what is left from your joint time.

What do you think of when you think about them?

What comes immediately to your mind or heart, when you hear their name or see their picture?

You can find out about yourself, if you were a leader, by checking with how many former ‘followers’ do you still have contact.

How many call you, just like that?

How do they behave, when you meet accidently in town?

In your back testing, there are good insights for your future.

Don’t you have thoughts about your emotions sometimes? Thoughts about showing them? About encouraging others to express them? Thoughts about the risk of being emotional while leading?

Don’t you have feelings about your thoughts? Feelings about arguments while deciding for an option? Don’t you get emotional about facts? About the logic of your opponent? About the reasoning of your team?

Have you considered allowing both? Is this how you would like to be treated, too?


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